(Music and Lyrics: Kylie Buddin and Sam Mullins)

There’s a juke joint down the road
Run by a guy named Smokey Joe
And a woman I can’t resist
Named Vicki the Ventriloquist
She belts out “Stay with Me”
While the dummy sings harmony
And I’m thinking she just might be the one

I watched Vicki
As Deadwood Dickie
Shook his head and smoked his pipe
He said, “You are whiskey and she is water….
No offense but you’re not her type.”

I tried to be his friend
Never said the word “pretend”
Never called him make-believe
Got him drunk on New Year’s Eve.
We talked about politics
Made fun of those town hall pricks
Who think they’re going to change the world

One night Dickie says to Vicki
“You know this fella ain’t half bad.
God knows you’re no spring chicken.
Time’s a wastin’, clock is tickin’
You could do a lot worse than this young lad.”

So the three of us drove west in my 97 Nissan Sentra
Dickie got arrested in Durango
Vicki and I got married in Vegas
We met Buck Owens in Bakersfield
Those were wild times
But now…

We got a big ass mortgage
Poor Dickie’s stuck in storage
We keep a strict routine
No booze and no caffeine
Macaroni on Wednesday might
Help keep that budget tight
Save sex for Saturday night (when the children are asleep)

One night Vicki,
Just for kicks she
Brings that dummy into bed
Deadwood Dickie
Creaks and clicks, he
Leaves a splinter in my head.
You might see some freaky threesomes
But they won’t beat no juke joint trio

Oooohhhhh, Vicki!
Ooooohhhhh, Dickie!
Ooooohhhhh, Vicki!
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!