(Music and Lyrics:  Stu Mullins)

You feel that magic is true
And miracles are too
You have faith in rumors and lies
And the neighbors all are spies

If only I was King Martian or better yet
A great remote viewer
Or master of the Internet

You eat primordial soup
And bought that autopsy coup
You talk about riding on Hale Bop
But that’s something I can’t top

If only I was King Martian
Or maybe a cosmonaut
Al Bell will tell you it’s all part of a counter-plot

But maybe I just lack the vision to see
How the moons of Jupiter relate to me.

If I was weird enough to follow that plot
I’d join you in your search for Camelot

If I were King Martian
If I were a Martian…